You are worth it, Mama!

When I turned 30 I threw myself a birthday party.  Reaching the big 3-0 was a big milestone for me, and I wanted it to be recognized and celebrated.  I knew that my husband would be unlikely to throw me a party because he is not much into parties, or birthdays.  It would not have been fair for me to ask him to plan a party for me, nor would I have felt comfortable asking my friends to do so.  So I took matters into my own hands and put together the whole thing!  It was a great time and I was so glad I did it! This was a great example of me identifying what I wanted and taking action to get it. It was also an example of me claiming my worthiness. 

I think that, as mothers, we often try to anticipate the needs and wishes of our partners and children.  And too often we expect others, especially our partners, to know what we want, or see what we need, only to become disappointed and hurt when they do not.  We also might feel hurt and resentful when our families don't automatically notice and express appreciation for the many things we do for them.  Does this sound familiar? 

Mother's Day presents us with an opportunity to claim the appreciation and recognition we deserve for the visible and invisible work that we put in on behalf of our families.  In my view, we don't need to wait to be shown appreciation. We can claim it by expressing our wants clearly, directly, and unapologetically.  We  deserve it. 

Furthermore, we can and should do this all year through.  However Mother's Day can be a reminder, and a catalyst, for us to stand in our worth and give ourselves credit for our contributions to our families and to society.   Let us remember that mothers are people too and we deserve to be recognized and taken care of-- on Mother's Day and every day. 

One of the main needs I know many moms have expressed is the need for "me" time.  Many moms long for opportunities to take time off from parenting and other household responsibilities so they can just relax. 

There are many small ways to do this on a regular basis.  For example, some of my clients have one evening a week when they leave the kids with their husband or another trusted grownup, and take a few hours to do something for themselves, such as getting a massage, going to dinner with friends, or taking themselves to a movie.   Some moms I know do short daily meditations and/or a gratitude practice in the mornings to start the day off on a good note and feed themselves spiritually. 

Another way to get replenished, especially when feeling burnt out or depleted, can be to go on a retreat.  Having a couple of days away from home to relax and restore can work wonders when you're feeling exhausted.  

The Restore and Grow Experiential Retreat for Moms offers mothers an opportunity to be nurtured in mind, body, and soul.  It combines a peaceful and serene natural setting, nourishing food, guided meditation, journaling, and visioning exercises, along with play time, individual rest time, and bonding with other amazing women.  But what really makes this retreat unique is that each participant will get to create a self-care plan to help her manage stress and keep her cup full well after the retreat.  

Whatever you choose to do this Mother's Day, my wish for you is that you realize how valuable you are to your family and to society, and that you carve out the space and time to honor yourself all year long. Because you deserve it!

Dr. Raquel Muller